When you move away...

          So, its been a long time since I have posted anything blog related. A really long time. Like 4 years long. Well, life happened and something had to go...and blogging was it.  But I have been thinking about this blog lately and decided to find it on internet land. So, here I am. Thinking about how to pour out my last four years in a few short paragraphs. But I may just write about the BIG we had in our lives in the last 19 months.

          Geneseo, Illinois being my home since 2007, was my home for about ten years. Geneseo will always have a huge part of my heart, and I miss it a lot.  It is a place that I cant explain. It's a smaller town, full of many amazing people. Corn fields all around, farmers, beautiful sunsets, people who show the love of Jesus in every direction (well almost, ha ha) and just a strong-knit community. I gave birth to two children in my old home and just made tons of precious memories there. I hold them tight to my heart.

       The Midwest is special and has a feel that you take for granted when you live there ....and I didn't realize it until we moved in 2017 to Clayton, North Carolina. This was a turning point for our family. This was our BIG in the last 19 months. We had an opportunity to move with my husband's job, try a new state, start fresh and experience and trust Gods leading. We prayed and things kept falling into place. So, we gave it to God, sold our house, left amazing friends who were like family, left our actual family, and started a different life 948 miles away. Crazy, right?

        So, moving sounds fun and exciting until you actually do it. A new house, new people, new church, new doctors, new gym, new vet, new grocery store, new mailman, new roads....its all new and new means learning. You have to learn where to go, when then best time it is to go, blah blah blah. You don't know the new people living around you and you don't know if they are willing to get to know you.  Its a lot.  So, what do you do?

     Well, this is what I did, I put my crazy self out there. I am not a shy person as you all know (if ya know me). I like people. Actually, I love people. I really love to meet them all. I was on fire to get to know all the neighbors, and to make as many friends as I could. I started a bible study and loved doing it. That was a great way to meet some great friends in the hood.  But making deep friendships just doesn't happen over night unfortunately. It takes lots of time, and lots of get togethers, which can be a lot of planning.  Busy people all over, busy busy busy. This makes these "get togethers" a challenge, but my advice is to stay determined. Get it on that calendar! I try to never miss a girls get together. I will rearrange my schedule because I believe in them that much. And you know what? It's working.

 Having a tribe. Have you heard of that?  I had my best girls back home, and still have them. But, moving changes things. It makes it harder, and distance grows because there are no get togethers!  They are very important- ha ha.  But you will learn that those who truly care send you messages and you stay in touch.  I mean, I get we are ALL busy. But, moving is exhausting and you need some support. Trying to make new friends and adjusting takes so much effort its nice when you get your friends back home asking how things are going and care about your new life and new adventures. Its scary, and its not easy moving. I think the older you are its even harder. Just my opinion, but older kids calls for busier schedules.

     It seems sad that I feel I "need" a tribe. Im almost 40. Is that pathetic? I don't think so. We all need a tribe or that crew of friends who don't judge you because they love you. I'm a people person. I give my heart. I like having friends who get me. The crazy, wild, intense, funny, goofy, sincere, and loving side of me.
I put it all in the basket. When I am your friend, I want to be that for life. Even if there is a distance. Friendships are essential.  So,  if you are like me on this journey, keep going. Keep it real. be yourself. You will find your tribe.

     Okay, so fast forward a year and half...I have some amazing people in my life here and I am learning how to navigate this very populated state.  Can I say I love it here? No. I can't. But could I have said I loved it in Illinois? Nope. Didn't there either. But, I am settling in (much slower than I planned) but I'm getting there.

          Sometimes I think God brings us places not just for our benefit. Maybe the move was not for us, but for others. I can see God in many ways as I wonder some days why we are here in North Carolina. He gives me glimpses and I see so much personal growth and my surroundings and who we may have impacted from moving here. Maybe we came for one family, or even one person. That is such a cool thought. God calls us to be the light to others. If just one person is changed for Gods glory, that the move is totally worth it. But to think more than one...that is just exciting!

        I would like to see the big picture or the "why" being answered. Unfortunately, God doesn't always reveal that or give us the opportunity to understand until He is ready.  So, as this new year has started, I will keep trusting we are here for a big purpose, whether for that one person (or many more) and one day I will happily call this place home.

        I think being happy somewhere is all based on your inside happy. You have to find joy that only comes from God. Some days I feel it more than others. Being human does that, right? But knowing that your happiness isn't something you can buy, or get from friends, or from having a perfect family, or from looking good, or from moving to a new state...but, only when realizing happiness is an inner peace. Its contentment. Its trusting Gods plan for your life. Its gratitude for all you have. Its your faith.  Happiness is that inner joy. I'm learning so much about that and maybe that was a big reason for moving.
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     So, if you are new to an area, pray. Pray for friendships and a church family. It may not be easy, and you probably have to put yourself out there. But you will learn so much about yourself in the process.  And you will pick up some new adventures and lessons on the way.  May you be filled with love, peace, and joy in this crazy world so you can shine bright for others.

Matthew 5:14-16
...In the same way, let your light shine for others, so they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in Heaven.

Getting out of the boat

In Matthew 14:29 it says: Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on water and came towards Jesus.

With that in mind, I took a step out of "my boat". I am not the type of person who loves to entertain or host events or parties. Not because I am not a social person, but because I think about the little details and turn down the dark road...the selfish road - the worry road. I think, "My house is too messy", "I wouldn't know what to cook", or  "my house is not nice enough, or my kids are so wild how will they act for guests?! " or "I'm just not willing to go all out, I'm a mom of three and just am too tired....."

These are all thoughts Satan uses to stop us from doing good works, like hosting- and showing hospitality.

 In Romans 12:13 it says: 

Share with Gods people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 

Wow! I read this and felt so convicted that I have not been doing this as Jesus calls us to do. He wants us to do this for everyone, not just our family and friends.

So, when I heard that His little feet were stopping in Geneseo and needed a host family-to keep them overnight. I took the chance, I took this opportunity to trust God and get out of the boat. 

Just like Peter did, he got out of the boat, he trusted Jesus would let him walk on water. He walked toward Jesus. Peter took a chance and had an amazing experience no one else had! (Yes, he later took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink- but Jesus pulled him out.) But I'm just speaking about the getting out of the boat. No one else did. He was blessed by his willingness to get out of his comfort, safety zone. He had a God filled moment, one of pure connection with Jesus.

I feel God blessed our family by this experience and I can say it was more meaningful to me (to all of us) than I thought it ever could be. To meet my new friends from India was a gift. I will treasure the short time I had them in our home, to talk, laugh, play games and to eat with them. My kids were able to learn about other kids in different places of the world- in particular India. They were able to see how we can bless others just by feeding, playing and talking- I want them to see how easy this was- I want them to not miss future opportunities. I want them to have a better mind set then I did.

Thank you Jesus for these children who can travel and sing praises to you. Thank you for convicting me to open my doors to your people. I am forever grateful. 

Our prayers will be with our new friends as they travel back home. I encourage anyone to look into 

Http:/hislittlefeet.org  

The organization is amazing and these kids can sing and dance right into your hearts. 

Hebrews 13:2 

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. 

The Christian metamorphosis-transformation from the inside out

At my home we decided to order "the cup" of caterpillars from the online website called insectlore. This would be so fun because as a family, we could watch these caterpillars change into butterflies. So, with this science experiment I personally was very excited for the kids. I learned later on, I was almost more excited than the kids...

After we received the cup of caterpillars in the mail, I could feel my anxiety heighten because these creature's lives were now in my hands- literally. I took the cup and placed them into my child's room in a safe place and we all enjoyed watching them wiggle and move around. (for about 5 minutes-haha)

I started a journal for the kids and everyday we would look at the little tiny caterpillars and write updates on what they were doing. We talked about their changes and what we thought would happen soon.
The changes started after a couple weeks- they grew larger and fatter. They slowed down in movement, they climbed their way to the top of the cup where they hung down making their "J" shape. Then it was time to transfer them to the large netted butterfly home I had bought for my daughter. After I pinned the disc with all the "J" shaped caterpillars onto the side we waited with an excitement to see the butterflies emerge. Days passed and we waited. I thought about what was happening to the inside of these little creatures. Then I read a paragraph from a website about the changes that were happening to the caterpillars, out loud to the kids:

"The transformation itself is amazing. Think of it as recycling -- if you drop a plastic bottle off in the recycling bin, it can be melted down into an entirely different shape. This is what happens inside the chrysalis. Much of the body breaks itself down into imaginal cells, which are undifferentiated -- like stem cells, they can become any type of cell. The imaginal cells put themselves back together into a new shape. A few parts of the body, such as the legs, are more or less unchanged during this process".

Wow. The insides of caterpillars change, they liquefy. They break down and are made into a whole new insect. The DNA changes. It is a total transformation! It made me think of this verse from the bible in

2 Corinthians 5:17-Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, and the new has come."

Our creator God, has made the caterpillar change from an ugly little caterpillar that can only crawl on the ground to a beautiful, colorful butterfly that can fly in the air and surround itself with beautiful colorful flowers in the light of the warm sun.

As we are born into this world, we have a gift. We have a choice to make. We can accept the free gift that God offers to us- his gift of salvation.

 He is willing to take our old sinful nature and transform us into something better- something stronger and more amazing by the grace of his love! He wants to change us from the inside out. He wants to transform us by filling us with his Holy spirit and rebuilding us back with the love he can only provide. The joy and the love only He can put into our hearts.

 God is our creator, and he loves us. He wants us to be like the beautiful butterfly that can fly in the air, and be bold and bright. He wants us to see the beauty in the bright colorful flowers. He wants us to enjoy all the beauty in his creation. This is a gift that if offered to you.

 Do you want to change and leave the ugly past behind? Do you want to let go of your guilt of sin and know that you have a father in heaven who forgives you? Do you want to start a new life that will lead you to happiness and love- one that has a promise of eternal life with Christ?

Take the gift He offers to you if you haven't- The transformation you experience in the walk of Christianity is amazing. Its not always easy, just as the caterpillars have a long journey, they have to work hard and its exhausting in times. But God provides the times of rest for the caterpillars, and he will for you as well.

Our God is a perfect God, one who loves more than we can ever imagine- one who is merciful, forgiving and awesome. This is the God who has a plan for your life, and wants you to know and trust Him in all you do. He will be your redeemer- he will transform your life!

Understanding the names of God

If you know me at all, you know that I am a dedicated  BSF attendee. I have been a "member" since 2007. So, I do mention this bible study quite a bit in my blog.  Because of BSF, I have studied the bible in such depth that it has helped me understand God and all of his traits better. Building a deep relationship with God is how you grow deeper with the understanding and knowledge of what He wants for you. Your purpose of life. "The" purpose of life. Its really amazing to have that peace and comfort you attain through his blessings.  And really to know Him better is the only way to do this.

Being a leader in BSF,  I learned to pray in a different way. Of course I pray my own way, but there is the prayer circle at BSF that is amazing. As a leader, you gather together in a circle of wise women for prayer once a week. Starting with praising God for all he has done for you, then they continue with worshiping Him in all his names, and glorifying Him, then sending our requests to him, etc. Well one thing I really loved about this was the praising him by names. God has more than one name you ask?! Yes! He is still the One God Almighty- Jesus Christ, but has different names to know Him better and describe his divine nature.

To learn the Hebrew and Greek of the bible is so important in learning how to get more depth the bible offers....you can put things together so much easier when you learn the history of the jewish culture, etc.

So, I wanted to list some of the names I like to use when I feel like praising or crying out to my God, my heavenly father.  I actually wrote this list of names in my prayer journal to reference to.  You can find many more names, but these are my favorite to use. Here is a great site to see more Names of God.

Jehovah- Yahweh- God-a reference to the Lord's Divine Salvation
Jehovah-Jirah- God will provide
Jehova Rapha- Lord Our healer God
Adonai- Lordship of God
El Elyon- Most high God
Elohim- God the power and might
El Shaddai-  All Sufficient God
El Roi- The God who sees me

There are so many more names of our one true God. Learning these names, can open your eyes to many of His awesome attributes. God is the King of Kings, Lord of Lords. There is no one higher than Him. We serve an amazing, loving, passionate, merciful, all knowing, patient God. I have no idea why some fight to not believe in Him. If you just take the time to learn his word, your heart and eyes will be open to his power in your life. Its only something you can see for yourself to fully understand it. I pray that anyone who reads this, feels the need to learn more about Jesus today!

Slowing down...

Some days I feel like I just want to stay home, enjoy the comfort of where I know best. Being a mama of three children, I am always driving somewhere whether it is to school, pick up from school, grocery store, guitar lessons, soccer games, BSF bible study, or playdates, or many other things on the to-do list.

I know many moms feel they have to be somewhere at all times, going here or there, doing this or that. Well at least that was me. I am now realizing I want to live the slow life. I want to slow down. I want to not rush my kids out the door all the time. I don't like chaos- and I do not handle it well.  Who really does? I find I snap at the kids easier, and feel stressed out which makes for a grouchy wife and mama...and friend. Chaos comes with more than one can handle. Why do we feel we can handle way more than we really ought to?  Society puts pressure on us- but we don't need to follow the worlds way.

 I also have my own photography business that I have built up in the last three years, and I am so grateful to have been blessed with it. Love snapping photos, love my camera, and love my clients.  I have come to realize, I really love it- but my children are so precious and only small for a few years. I need to balance my hobby/business. I need to make a plan Stan. So all can wait. All can be balanced when you really want balance. Just weigh out your choices. Go with your heart.

So, as I sit here and think about how nice the day was (especially being a snow day-no school), I encourage you to slow down too. I know this is not a mind stopping, super awesome blog post you are going to jump with joy after reading. Sorry, you probably wont ever get those from me-haha
But, at least think about what is most important to you, and what you want to enjoy in this life. Its okay to live the slow life. Enjoy what your kids are saying to you- now you can listen. Look around at the home you have made for yourself, and be grateful. Take time to read your bible, and have time in solitude with Jesus. I like to go into my closet. Dark and peaceful. Play with your kids. Get crafty. Read a novel. Bake cookies. Then do insanity. haha

Enjoy life. Slow it down, and just relax. Breathe. All will be well with your soul.....

New Christians

So, I spoke this into my phone one day as I was testing out my new iPhone, and thought the voice memos were really cool. HA! That's my life people!  So, in doing so I just came up with this..(click on the pink link below "New Christians") I linked this audio rather than re-type the message I saved. Hopefully this is easy for you to hear, and maybe will help someone out there understand the walk is not always easy and you must persevere! I hope this link works for you.
                                                           New Christians

Understanding what your treasure is....

Do you ever wonder what your true treasure is? For some it is their family, or their kids. It may be their best friend, or maybe a more materialistic approach. It may be your finances, or home, your things, your car, what clothing you wear, what brand purses your own, or the designer boots and shoes in your closet.

For those who see any of the about as your true treasure, your highest possession in life- you are missing out on something truly better. Now, as I type this, I am not being judgmental by any means. I was actually convicted on this matter and wanted to share my personal struggles to show you all your not alone if the above may be true! I love my kids and family. I would die for my children any day, really I would!
 I also enjoy things, and it feels good to have a nice pair of leather boots. I have fun shopping and sometimes think too highly of it. 
But after reading Matthew chapter 13, the parable of the treasure and the hidden pearl I realized this. We are going to miss out on the BIG picture of life if we don't know who Jesus is...if we don't see him as our TREASURE.  If we don't know him, there is no hope of salvation. There is no peace and security in your life. If we don't understand how real and true this is, we will be lost souls. wondering what our purpose in life is, never being content in being you.

I have friends who say they believe in a "higher" power or worship other false gods. I know this is a touchy subject to write on if you are a non-believer ...that they have the right to choose their God. And they ask why do I think my God is the true one. I don't have an answer for them except this: My God has changed my life, I have felt the Holy Spirit, I am growing closer to Jesus every day, I see my heart loving more, and I also can feel his presence.   I have had answered prayers that I know was answered by an amazing God that loves me for being me. I do not need to earn his love, I do not need to do things to be saved. I am saved by grace because He loves me so.

In that, I want to honor Him by sharing this with others. My life could have ended with sex, drugs, and rock and roll people. (okay, a little exaggerated, but you get the picture right?) But it didn't.  God never left me though I didn't care to know Him or learn who he was. But he was patient, he let me learn the hard way- as a parent does for their child. So I am ever grateful.

If you are searching to find fulfillment in life, or feel misled by the worldly ways- know this. God is waiting for you to find Him. All you need to do is call out and ask Him to come into your heart. Easy as that! Your life may not be miraculously changed the next day, but I promise you this- you will feel a change. Your mind will start dwelling on things you may have avoided or wanted to ignore. the Holy Spirit will begin cleaning you out from the inside. Your true treasure is free, and eternal! Not only do you live a life of peace in this earthly life- you get a bonus of eternity with your maker- God!I pray you find it, the treasure worth more than anything soon and hold it dearly in your heart, mind and soul.

 Matthew 13:44-45 says this:

⁴⁴ “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

⁴⁵ “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. ⁴⁶ When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it